It is almost Christmas. Which means we are inundated with calls for Christmas cheer and giving and all that shit that is said to disguise a commercialized holiday. Don’t get me wrong, I love presents. And I’m not above being a bit nicer during this time of year (although, I’m kind of nice all the time… )
However, I think we need to recognize that you can’t always be forgiving of shit, even if Santa is watching. And to counter the onslaught of cheery-sappy-goodness, I thought I would provide a pre-Christmas bitch-fest. Of course, this isn’t about crazy Christmas family dramatics, the brazen audacity of people shopping, or even about how you won’t be getting exactly what you want under the tree (or throughout your eight days of Hannukah, or beside your Festivus pole, we like to be inclusive here at Beat & Lyric).
This is about music. Specifically, music that makes you cringe. The song you hear on the radio and marvel that it actually has a fan base. The band you hear people gush about that makes you shake your head. The time when your music snobbery background rears its snobby head and you warm yourself knowing that this one, at least this time, you have an innate sense of what is good and “they” are merely tone-deaf followers. You don’t necessarily don a “man-scarf” or your non-prescription black glasses – you aren’t quite a hipster yet – but you do rail against the industry that has allowed trite crap to be played en masse.
So I asked around – what are the songs right now that are making you irrationally angry? Here’s the Top Five Songs that Are Filled with Suckage that I’m hearing about right now. Feel free to add your own.
5. Anything by Nickelback
I know, I know. It’s almost like a broken record by now – the combined dislike of Nickelback. Of course, I’m not the only one who feels this way. When asked, one of my musical cohorts, Pete, immediately mentioned Nickelback. This is why I have good friends – they have great taste (and a mutual dislike of 3 chords and shitty muisc).
4. Green Day – Oh Love
Like “Time of Your Life”, this is Green Day at their worst. It’s overtly commercial, it’s “radio friendly” (ugh) and it is insipid junk. It sounds more like a Linkin Park-Nickelback collaboration of crap. It gave me absolutely no hope for their much-promoted trio of albums. Such began my rants about bands that once were groundbreaking that succumbed to the power of money and put out shit music past their prime. Luckily, they have now released “Let Yourself Go” and gained a modicum of respect back. Not much, but a small inkling of a sound that made me listen to Green Day in the first place
3. Billy Talent – Surprise Surprise
I probably should like Billy Talent a bit. They’re Canadian and I do have a penchant of patriotism that makes me listen to Canadian bands and artists. But, this is like Nickelback without the three-chord banal sound. There is nothing new or noteworthy about this song. It fades into the background noise that is Can-Con. And don’t think the irony of the lyrics (which, again, I should like since it mocks the Hipster culture along with the video) doesn’t escape me. Lame typical rock stars singing about a culture that they can’t possibly be a part of. They’re trying too hard. At least the hipster listens to somewhat decent music. Not trite music like this.
2. The Offspring – Days Go By
Another Pete choice (I asked him for two choices) and this one would be on my list as well. For reasons already expressed in the Green Day notes. A band that was once pretty great that has succumbed to fear-of-obscurity music making. So they make insipid crap that we are forced to listen to.
1. K-Os – The Dog is Mine
A choice of steel and stellar proportions. Not only is this a shared irritation, but it was once asked of me if K-OS actually has fans who would have anticipated this song. There is nothing wrong with the song, other than the fact that it is just.. dumb. And dumb things bother us.
Note: I didn’t put any videos with this post. Frankly, that would require adding hits to videos of songs that I don’t want to listen to. So, if you’re curious, go look them up. But be forewarned, it’s all not great. Which could be a Beat & Lyric gift to our readers – a good laugh early on a Thursday morning.
Happy Holidays all!
p.s. Thank you to those that provided the inspiration and collaboration for this – what is Festivus without an airing of the grievances? Now where is my pole??